i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
