I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
