We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We are two peas in an std pod
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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