How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
