I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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