I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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