It's like a parade of train wrecks.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
