matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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