I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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