She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
