I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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