as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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