i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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