i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
