We won't sleep together?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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