Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
