Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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