What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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