OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
