never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
