i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
