just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
