Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
