She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
