Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
