Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
