Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
