i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Come share oat with me in your robe
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
