Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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