id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
