Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
