it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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