one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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