she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
