it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
