no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
