Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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