I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
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she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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