My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize