This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
