Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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