sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
