so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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