I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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