he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
