Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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