i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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