Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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