My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
