Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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