her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
