"it" just moved
Apparently you make a good broom.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
