Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
