i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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