I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Randomize
