Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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