Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
