Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Drunk is not a location!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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