I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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