Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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