Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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