before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
