My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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